FAT ATTITUDE and postpartum flab!

It's ALL about attitude. Whatever the motivation is to lose the weight, it is also all about the attitude; the attitude towards yourself and the food around you.

I realise I had a bit of attitude in my last Blog. I was angry and I'm sorry if that resulted in me being a litttle too harsh on the Fats; this Blog is supposed to be about keeping positive so I will endevour to move onward and upward. I absolutely love writing this Blog. I am realising the importance of a positive attitude not only in life but to weight loss. The affirmations that Steve M encourages are so helpful, 'keep on it', 'feeling inspired' and 'feeling motivated' that is why I include them in my Blog. I am reflecting on how I'm doing, how I'm feeling and affirming with a positive statement. Surprisingly this takes some effort and thought from me. Being positive doesn't come naturally or even easily to all of us.

I've found during my 'FAT life' that other people have given out the 'attitude' to me as a judgement of my fatness. In some ways I could thank these people but I wont because at the time it was often, inappropriately, when I was particularly vulnerable and even in their care, so I'll just observe their prejudices for now and learn from it. No doubt I'll return to this in a minute. Yes its the sad truth that generally people do not respect a FAT one.

It might even be saying hello to another mum at nursery. One mum just completely shut down my attempts to talk to her which at the time did make me question whether it was because I was fat? What impression was I giving? And anyway, who wants a FAT mum anyway...?

In this bbc article they discuss fat prejudice which is very interesting but it is actually the comments that follow that are the most thought provoking. Do take a look at this BBC link. Some people are full of excuses and others seem genuinely angry that Fat people exist.

During pregnancy there was one particular ultrasound sonographer who made it his mission to complain about my fatness and was incredibly rough. Following a scan from him I would actually be in discomfort the next day. I remember reading about sonographers getting RSI from having to press down harder on FAT pregnant women to get a scan. Unfortunately I can't find the article to add a link for it but an Internet search certainly brings up lots of research papers on the subject. Every written report they wrote would start with 'difficulty due to raised BMI', 'reduced visibility due to increased BMI'. It used to drive me mad but now I can see it more from their point of view. Being FAT is no fun and being FAT & pregnant is certainly no joke.

My pregnancy (when FAT) photo gallery:

During the birth of my second baby the midwife acted like she hated me. It was the birth from hell but what really didn't help me was that this midwife made an initial judgement about me based on my size (how I looked) and it influenced her entire approach. That midwife was contemptuous and vindictive and certainly not the person I needed around me in that situation, indeed her treatment of me upsets me to this day.

I recently watched a programme about medieval birth. It fascinated me that they took woman off to dark rooms creating a cocoon of safety and sanctuary. Such a stark contrast to the strip lit bare torture chambers of today. I do jest a little but strip lights, constant interruptions and beeping machinery are very far removed from anything that creates any feelings of safety or indeed sanctuary. 

If you're overweight and pregnant the medical profession are obsessed with gestational diabetes. I was sent for GTT tests on a regular basis and rightly so if necessary but people could not believe I could be that over weight & pregnant and not be diabetic. They tried to send me for GTTs less than a week apart on one occasion and I had to get my consultant and community midwife to intervene. I of course didn't need two GTTs within such a short space of time but the registrar just couldn't believe that the results were all clear even though I had no symptoms! 

I had the same thing as an overweight vegan. My GP at the time took one look at my fatness and suggested he take my blood pressure for a quick random check. Surprise, surprise my blood pressure was spot on. Mostly I owe this to the years of drinking soya milk and eating tofu. I did read that it can be common to put on weight when following a vegan diet if you don't quite get the nutritional balance correct. I did put on a lot of weight as a vegan but I'm sure lifestyle is also to blame. I count myself lucky that my blood pressure has always been fine BUT carry on being obese & overweight and this might not continue. After all in my early Blogs I identified that health jeopardy is a motivation for me to lose the weight. This is a serious matter after all. 

In an article which I do have the link for, Kim Brooks writes about weight struggles and pregnancy. I particularly like her humour. I didn't quiet relate to the cashier at the drive thru knowing my name but I do recall driving to work one morning, racked with guilt at being pregnant and so indirectly giving the baby a drive thru, fast food breakfast! Check out the Kim Brooks article: I’m pregnant, I’m fat and I hate it.

Where I am now, is at the getting rid of the postpartum flab part. Unlike what is recommended I did not lose all the baby weight following my first child to be ready for my next pregnancies. This 'Healthy weight loss after pregnancy' article suggests that; "As long as you feel healthy and ready, as a rough guide, you should aim to return your pre-pregnancy weight by the time your baby is about six months old. If you're finding it takes longer than this, don't give yourself a hard time. Just set yourself a target of getting to the weight you want by your baby’s first birthday" (babycentre healthy-weight-loss-after-birth suggestions). For me to get to the weight that I want by my baby's first birthday, well that gives me one month to melt another 5 stone! I guess because I was just so overweight before my pregnancies I do have further to go than most? I have actually lost all of the baby weight, now weighing less than I did four years ago, less than at my wedding but (and the big butt) there is plenty of room for improvement. 

This is me now: September 2014

Wow, I do seem to be all guns blazing for this Blog episode, don't I ?!? Drawing on all my unique selling points. I've been working hard in past months to find them, to find my writing voice but it is me. I am keeping it real. This is not just a weight loss Blog. My Blog comes not only from my motivation to lose weight but also it's a personal account and commentary, my post pregnancy Blog. So to finish 'Take that Bembridge Schollars' :)