waiting for the health coach

As I sat on the 3rd floor of the library in February 2020, waiting for my first health coach appointment I wondered if they chose the 3rd floor on purpose. Do they monitor who takes the stairs up and who takes the lift? Well it worked, I took the stairs but partly because it was baby group chucking out time and there was a substantial fight for the lift in progress already.

There's a glass office behind me, I can hear them talking in there so I certainly hope that's not where I will be going? Plus it said they weigh you in the first session..... they didnt mention in a glass box, with all to see though? 

Its 11:56 so the person before me has 4 minutes to finish otherwise that would make my first session late, surely not. I mentioned orlistat before. I've read that it ought to be taken in conjunction with health care provider- supervised reduced calories diet. Since the gp (doctor) gave me the perscription for orlistat I had at the time managed to loose just over 7lbs. So maybe I didn't need the orlistat ...? a private health coach (friend) said that there were better ways to loose weight so I didn't cash the perscription and left it at that.

Since I wrote that introduction, I've completed all my health coach sessions which through the Covid-19 lockdown was a challenge I can tell you. Sometimes I was just crying down the phone so wasn't able to access the health coaching that I had originally sought. I completed the online weight management course at the beginning of the year. This was helpful. Before the online course I hadn't heard of BLISS foods, had no idea of complex carbs and no idea of portion sizes for each food groups. Now when we cook at home there are always leftovers ready for the next day, I really was eating too much, which I had very little idea about. 

Today as I write this (June 2021) I have managed to implement and sustain significant food changes in my life over the last 5 months. I've set my goal to lose over 7 stone (107 lbs) in weight. So far I am 15lbs down and remain focused on this goal every time I eat. This feels like a huge achievement to be honest. 

I visited the gym on a free trial last week and used the treadmill & crosstrainer but in this crazy 'almost' post-covid world I'm not convinced people are cleaning equipment before and after use as they were supposed to do. For this reason I won't be signing back up to the gym right now. Looking for alternative classes I made the decision to sign up for a 7 week HITT workout boot camp, on the beach. As you can see from the photo below, its a stoney beach, which makes the running and walking parts extra tricky! But I did it! I always find committing to a specific session helps to maintain my motivation. As a baseline I wasn't 'as bad' as I thought. Turns out a year spent perfecting my planks in pilates was worth it. For example: 'Elbow plank' for count of 10 -> run across beach on stones to the marker -> repeat then rest for 20 seconds.

I didn't always manage to complete the third reps of the exercises in the time but I mostly manged x1 and x2. I think signing up to these fitness challenges is the only way. I miss those days of my weekly yoga, fitness pilates and swimming but i know they will eventually return and in the meantime there are alternatives to be found.

I very rarely include photos of myself on this blog, let's face it, I avoid having my photo taken at all, but it's something I'm experimenting with. What if I carry on long enough to start to like myself in photos again...? 

Till next time, Bis bald 🦸‍♀️ 

2021 weight gain and no followers - Lets start a January weight loss course

Since covid hit the world, well March 2020 for the UK, I have missed my routine of swimming, Pilates and Yoga. I tried YouTube Yoga for a while but it wasn't the same. With lock-down I am reduced to local walks but with working from home and home schooling, finding the time to exercise has been tricky and if I am honest has fallen by the way side. 

At one point last year (2020) covid lock-down had me at home too scared to leave the house. I ate badly and hid under a duvet some days. Christmas was sad and boring, I put on a stone in weight (6.35kg). At 21st 9.5lbs (139 kg that's 306.6lbs) I started to attend a 10 week weight loss course and I am gradually getting back to things.

I am controlling portion sizes with a portion plate: 

That's working well and I actually realise that I have been eating 3 meals at every meal. You can see the difference between this plate and my old dinner plate! Now I use this plate as a guide and measure the carbs separately as the gastric band plate doesn't have those on it. I certainly haven't cut out carbs. I've actually increased some foods - broccoli, nuts, veg and fruit generally.

Being mindful of hunger levels is something that they talk about on the weight loss course so I am trying to be careful not to get too hungry - which hasn't actually happened. I have been using a Paul McKenna - 'I can make you thin' hypnosis track every night for the last 3 weeks - and - I think it is working. 

Looking over my notes from the mindset and motivation course I have also realised that most of this was all under my nose the whole time. As I am now mid-40s it is even more important to lose this weight. My Fitbit is on and the goal is set at 14 stone which leaves another 6 stone and 13lbs to lose! I don't even know if this is possible? How can we establish exercise as part of this covid working when I am spending most of the day 'chained' to a laptop. This is such a contrast to a 'normal' working day for me and it has certainly taken some time to adjust to. The impact of next to no exercise has definitely had an effect on my weight gain. On these lockdown, chained to a laptop work days I am averaging 2000 - 3000 steps a day.

I am on week 5 of the weight loss course - since January I have lost 10.5 lbs. So something is working......     

The focus is activity this week so my Fitbit will come into its own for weekly stats. My daily goal is and has always been 10,000 steps. Today I have worked out a seafront walk is approximately 7000 steps and if I add on a park walk too - I am up to 15.000 steps. At the time of writing I am on 16,076 steps today, which my Fitbit is telling me is 7.12 miles walked today. When you focus on something it really does help.

Onward and upwards - oh and I must remember to get me some followers on this blog! 

Come on, some of my previous posts had 234 views.

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Food is a drug!

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/jul/18/food-is-a-drug-and-we-have-to-learn-to-say-no

Well the photo below was taken in 2014. As you know this year I'm sporting for no lattes and no cappuccinos so it's certainly been a good while since I enjoyed the arrangement depicted below, plus Mc Donald's wont even sell you a bacon bagel any longer! 

Interesting article about the hit food can give you. Those breakfasts certainly fall into this category. A friend once told me that cheese was a drug. At the moment I tend to avoid buying it to be honest.

Last week I certainly had some success. After a whole month of pilates and no milky coffees I actually lost 3lbs. Only a start and a slow start but it is nonetheless still a start. 

I tried yoga for beginners for the first time on Saturday. It was great and I don't know why it's taken me this long to try? It was more friendly than pilates but challenging too. I like that we were told to smile during the class, that there were lavender eye bags at one point 🧘‍♀️ and the idea of activating my inner smile really has stayed with me. a) I didn't know that I even had an inner smile b) activating an inner smile and carrying it with you through the day - what an amazing philosophy. As weight loss also has to be about health and wellbeing, why not activate an inner smile ......? 🤗 New to me.

My Fitbit stats for last week were encouraging. Because I weigh more that when I started using my Fitbit a few years ago its telling me I have gained 10lbs BUT my average steps per day are increasing. Its do hard on  working car with driving and carrying out work duties. I aim for 10,000 steps a day and interestingly if I'm off work I'm often able to do more than thd 10,000. A walk into town for example will boost the steps. 

The exercising data isn't accurate either as I managed to delete some activity which can't be retrieved and when I enter things manually I don't think it is precise.

Last week I also tried a stretch and tone class. That was a mixture of yoga, tai chi and pilates. It was excellent, challenging and exhausting. I couldn't get booked on it today so just the 10:30 pilates class for me. January at Bannatynes is crazy busy. People keep telling me it calms down by February when people ditch their new year's resolutions. Well, we can see what happens! 

Just a short entry this time round but like all these classes I'm attending; I'm here and I'm going it! 👍

So if I go back to my earlier mention of 'Obese: A Year To Save My Life' for a moment. Chris Powell will say to his clients 'It's not all about victories it's about falling down and getting back up'.

      

So if I go back to an earlier mention of 'Obese: A Year To Save My Life' for a moment. Chris Powell will say to his clients 'It's not all about victories it's about falling down and getting back up'.

This month (January 2020) has seen me getting back up. Where has the time gone? 3 years ago I was writing this weight loss blog. Since then I've had some set backs including a car crash which put me out of action for a time and has left me suffering persistent vertigo BUT when my health club membership came up for renewal in January (2018) I realised I wasn't ready to quit it! Ok so I've put lots of the weight back on but here I go again, January 2020 - if I increase my movement and watch that I'm eating surely there's got to be results, right?

Since my last time of writing all the fitness apps have changed. I treated myself to a fitbit flex 2 which has been fantastic. I can't use the gym that much at the moment as my vertigo would make looking down at digital displays and along with quick movements would send me spinning but I've been swimming. That's my main reason for choosing a flex2 as it measures my swimming efforts. I've linked my fitbit with my Banantynes app & run keeper, which are great motivators and really do give great +ve feedback.

I suffered a back muscle spasm in Nov'19 which put me completely out of action for a month. The result being weight gain and a sideways lecture from my GP. She was very nice about it and said she didn't want to cause offense but that I ought to lose weight to prevent these things happening again. Since then I've been attending pilates classes to improve my core strength- much needed. At first the only class I could book onto was a ridiculously difficult keep fit pilates, because it always had free spaces. I hadn't realised until too late and it was a shock BUT I'm still going. Do Google fitness pilates, I am sure YouTube will have some footage of what it entails. I would have love to see video footage of and in that first class, I'd turned up ready for relaxing muscle stretches but it was side planks and all sorts of pilates madness. I go to a class once and even twice a week if my work schedule allows. It's still really, really hard and sometimes afterwards, I burst into tears in my car, but I'm still going. This week the class was full (new years resolutions and good intentions for January I think) there wasn't room for any more mats on the floor. One of the regulars told me to watch the instructor and that when it gets like this "she tries to kill people off" - he was not wrong. If was the hardest class I have ever attended, at points I had my eyes closed willing a particular hold to be over. So here I am, back again today for more pilates! Fingers crossed for a slightly more graded class today.

I was given a prescription by my GP for Orlistat but on reflection I thought I ought to try weight loss without it first. The side effects sound pretty drastic and potentially catastrophic. I'm booked to see a Health Coach in a couple of weeks so that will be interesting.

Only new years resolution has been to avoid the lattes and cappuccinos. Hidden calories. One problem has been the extra caffeine in the Americanos can be a bit much. 

Today I've turned up for my pilates class at 10:30 only to find its actually at 12:30! So porridge and chamomile tea (still avoiding the lattes) followed by a swim I guess .... oh, and writing this blog which has been dormant for some years now. Well I called this blog journey to slim and I'm very much still on that journey. Bis bald x

January 2015 and surviving Christmas.

So I've missed my Blog these last 3 months. Maternity leave has finished and I'm back to work which is why it's now suddenly a lot of juggling and for lots of the time I am absolutely exhausted. For 2014 I managed to lose just over 51lbs and happily, the good news is I was able to maintain my weight-loss too.

Surviving Christmas was a conscious effort not to overeat and although I did have treats that I wouldn't normally have I did try to balance things. I had my annual bottle of Baileys but I certainly didn't want to gain the lbs as I had done over Christmas last year. I very much enjoyed eating some delicious home made Christmas fruit cake and plenty of lebkuchen which are amazing German biscuits similar to but not really like gingerbread.

For a treat I even ventured out to a Beefeater for lunch where they served the coleslaw in reusable plastic pots with lids which I don't necessarily agree with:

When I weighed myself after Christmas I'd gained 2lbs. So I consider that to be a small success to be honest. I think planning ahead by doing my weekly shopping online helped a great deal and stopped any impulse purchases. Not buying chocolate or too many snacks was a definite advantage. This brings me up to date and this week I have been dancing (in the comfort of my own home) and still allowing myself small 'treats' I tried my first ever macchiato. I didn't even realise what it was when I ordered but it was delicious however I'll be strictly back to my Americano with milk from now on.

In order to gain some motivation for the task ahead I have been watching episodes of 'Obese: A Year To Save My Life'. These people are starting at 445lbs and 456lbs. Their stories are inspirational. In the first 3 month phase they are set the goal by Chris Powell to lose 100lbs and at the end of the 365 days they manage to lose 200lbs! It's amazing, the transformation that these people achieve in one year. Last year with much determination I lost a total of 51lbs. My personal goal weight means I have to lose 70lbs this year, that's 5 stone that needs to go!

I made a decision to not make New Year's resolutions this year. In the past my resolutions have been mostly weight related. Reading old journals it seems every year I would set a weight loss goal but actually I would be weighing more than I had done the previous year so it always felt quite hopeless. This year I am more positive, indeed hopeful rather than hopeless. It is also worth noting (I think) that my weight loss last year was near on twice the amount that I have lost in the past when I have been attending a slimming club. 

Although I haven't set resolutions I think the New Year does lead to some reflection of things you ought to be doing, including how much exercise is going on. Ultimately I tell myself eat less and move more as much as possible. It's the moving more that I know I'm going to have to increase. So when I'm lucky enough to take a lunch break, which isn't very often, I'll take a walk to buy a sandwich instead of driving there. Actually after doing this four or five times I managed to halve my time getting there and back and I felt so much better for it. 

All this talk of exercise leads me nicely onto something which I tried for the first time this week, Just Dance 2014 on the Wii U and I absolutely loved it. I have been thinking about a workout and trying to work out how I can successfully add exercise into my daily routine. I like swimming but don't really have the option of getting there as regularly as I need to. I used to play badminton and if I manage to play a game or two this year I'll be very happy BUT with something like a dance game that's at home there's no travel time, no extra cost and technically I can do that most evenings. It does have a great 'sweat' mode to set 10-40 minute workouts so I'll definitely be giving that a go. Now I've put that on here I'll have to do it. It was great fun, I moved the lounge floor mat around the room I was dancing all over the place so much and it has been a while since I've felt the benefit of endorphins. It really lifted my mood.

Now that does feel like there is a plan. Some exercise organised and at the beginning of the year I'm on track to stay on track. I'm rushing to my own deadline to get this written in January as I do plan to keep to my monthly Blog instalments, well that's my intention. Of course this year is also an extra special year for me. I think I've mentioned before that a weight loss motivation for me is that I don't want to be Fat and Forty and I am hoping that with hard work I really wont have to be.

I've been saving the following link for some time and I'm sharing as now feels as good a time as any, plus it also links to a final story from my adventures to slim. Recently as I was packing things away at the end of a party I was merrily waving goodbye to people across a large sports hall. The distance between me and them at the exit was quite some way so I did put some effort in to making my wave as friendly and visible as possible. With some horror, mid-wave I realised that I had a Bingo wing waving independently to my waving hand. This has never happened before, maybe losing some weight makes it more obvious to me but I suddenly became very aware of my wobbly wings, flapping along to my wave, how embarrassing. So with pleasure, I share with you, a 10 minute Bingo Wing Blaster which I seriously need to be implementing! 
Bis Bald x

Click here for a bingo-wings-blaster

FAT ATTITUDE and postpartum flab!

It's ALL about attitude. Whatever the motivation is to lose the weight, it is also all about the attitude; the attitude towards yourself and the food around you.

I realise I had a bit of attitude in my last Blog. I was angry and I'm sorry if that resulted in me being a litttle too harsh on the Fats; this Blog is supposed to be about keeping positive so I will endevour to move onward and upward. I absolutely love writing this Blog. I am realising the importance of a positive attitude not only in life but to weight loss. The affirmations that Steve M encourages are so helpful, 'keep on it', 'feeling inspired' and 'feeling motivated' that is why I include them in my Blog. I am reflecting on how I'm doing, how I'm feeling and affirming with a positive statement. Surprisingly this takes some effort and thought from me. Being positive doesn't come naturally or even easily to all of us.

I've found during my 'FAT life' that other people have given out the 'attitude' to me as a judgement of my fatness. In some ways I could thank these people but I wont because at the time it was often, inappropriately, when I was particularly vulnerable and even in their care, so I'll just observe their prejudices for now and learn from it. No doubt I'll return to this in a minute. Yes its the sad truth that generally people do not respect a FAT one.

It might even be saying hello to another mum at nursery. One mum just completely shut down my attempts to talk to her which at the time did make me question whether it was because I was fat? What impression was I giving? And anyway, who wants a FAT mum anyway...?

In this bbc article they discuss fat prejudice which is very interesting but it is actually the comments that follow that are the most thought provoking. Do take a look at this BBC link. Some people are full of excuses and others seem genuinely angry that Fat people exist.

During pregnancy there was one particular ultrasound sonographer who made it his mission to complain about my fatness and was incredibly rough. Following a scan from him I would actually be in discomfort the next day. I remember reading about sonographers getting RSI from having to press down harder on FAT pregnant women to get a scan. Unfortunately I can't find the article to add a link for it but an Internet search certainly brings up lots of research papers on the subject. Every written report they wrote would start with 'difficulty due to raised BMI', 'reduced visibility due to increased BMI'. It used to drive me mad but now I can see it more from their point of view. Being FAT is no fun and being FAT & pregnant is certainly no joke.

My pregnancy (when FAT) photo gallery:

During the birth of my second baby the midwife acted like she hated me. It was the birth from hell but what really didn't help me was that this midwife made an initial judgement about me based on my size (how I looked) and it influenced her entire approach. That midwife was contemptuous and vindictive and certainly not the person I needed around me in that situation, indeed her treatment of me upsets me to this day.

I recently watched a programme about medieval birth. It fascinated me that they took woman off to dark rooms creating a cocoon of safety and sanctuary. Such a stark contrast to the strip lit bare torture chambers of today. I do jest a little but strip lights, constant interruptions and beeping machinery are very far removed from anything that creates any feelings of safety or indeed sanctuary. 

If you're overweight and pregnant the medical profession are obsessed with gestational diabetes. I was sent for GTT tests on a regular basis and rightly so if necessary but people could not believe I could be that over weight & pregnant and not be diabetic. They tried to send me for GTTs less than a week apart on one occasion and I had to get my consultant and community midwife to intervene. I of course didn't need two GTTs within such a short space of time but the registrar just couldn't believe that the results were all clear even though I had no symptoms! 

I had the same thing as an overweight vegan. My GP at the time took one look at my fatness and suggested he take my blood pressure for a quick random check. Surprise, surprise my blood pressure was spot on. Mostly I owe this to the years of drinking soya milk and eating tofu. I did read that it can be common to put on weight when following a vegan diet if you don't quite get the nutritional balance correct. I did put on a lot of weight as a vegan but I'm sure lifestyle is also to blame. I count myself lucky that my blood pressure has always been fine BUT carry on being obese & overweight and this might not continue. After all in my early Blogs I identified that health jeopardy is a motivation for me to lose the weight. This is a serious matter after all. 

In an article which I do have the link for, Kim Brooks writes about weight struggles and pregnancy. I particularly like her humour. I didn't quiet relate to the cashier at the drive thru knowing my name but I do recall driving to work one morning, racked with guilt at being pregnant and so indirectly giving the baby a drive thru, fast food breakfast! Check out the Kim Brooks article: I’m pregnant, I’m fat and I hate it.

Where I am now, is at the getting rid of the postpartum flab part. Unlike what is recommended I did not lose all the baby weight following my first child to be ready for my next pregnancies. This 'Healthy weight loss after pregnancy' article suggests that; "As long as you feel healthy and ready, as a rough guide, you should aim to return your pre-pregnancy weight by the time your baby is about six months old. If you're finding it takes longer than this, don't give yourself a hard time. Just set yourself a target of getting to the weight you want by your baby’s first birthday" (babycentre healthy-weight-loss-after-birth suggestions). For me to get to the weight that I want by my baby's first birthday, well that gives me one month to melt another 5 stone! I guess because I was just so overweight before my pregnancies I do have further to go than most? I have actually lost all of the baby weight, now weighing less than I did four years ago, less than at my wedding but (and the big butt) there is plenty of room for improvement. 

This is me now: September 2014

Wow, I do seem to be all guns blazing for this Blog episode, don't I ?!? Drawing on all my unique selling points. I've been working hard in past months to find them, to find my writing voice but it is me. I am keeping it real. This is not just a weight loss Blog. My Blog comes not only from my motivation to lose weight but also it's a personal account and commentary, my post pregnancy Blog. So to finish 'Take that Bembridge Schollars' :) 

Being anti-fat, shopping for others and French Fancies.

Apologies for the absence in Blog over the last few weeks. Illness and juggling childcare, builders, selling houses and life all got a bit crazy for a while. That doesn't mean the absence of my heartfelt Blog means you have to rip me off and go out and write one that's almost identical to mine. No it does not. I was drafting away like a demon, don't you worry. So without further a do, **** the haters, and on I go, after all isn't the aim of this Blog to keep positive.  

One of the things that Steve M encourages is the observation of the fat habits of other people as a route to becoming anti-fat. Observe those fat habits to move away from a fat life. So in preparation for writing this Blog I have been extra vigilant and taking careful note of what I've been seeing.

More often than not a FAT can be standing smoking at a bus stop waiting for a bus or when they are walking along the road they are stuffing a big pastry. I saw one using a wheelie pusher to get herself into the doctors. In town you can watch FATs driving on their mobility scooters and stopping only to jump off and run into a fish and chip shop. You might think this harsh but I'm just saying what I've been seeing.

This technique is brilliant for changing mindset. Although the idea is to observe the fat habits Not to make judgments about the person, I've actually found myself being repulsed by people's fat. It's everywhere. Big wobbly bottoms. Big fat legs. In a similar way to when you're trying to get pregnant everyone around you seems to be pregnant because you're suddenly more aware and looking out for it. When you're fat and programming your mind to use your own fat to motivate you to get rid of it, you suddenly notice all the Fat around you.

This all brings to mind something I heard years ago about a very fat man sitting on a hot commuter train, sweating. He was on the phone having a very loud conversation with someone, telling them and the whole train carriage "The sweat is pouring out of me!" .....Lovely!!!! This is him, I've used a sombrero to provide anonymity but I wonder if he is still fat? How did he get on this summer?

That tale leads me to another point which I added to this draft in July before the sad loss of Robin Williams, something about which I am truly sad. I have kept the paragraph in as I honestly couldn't bring myself to delete it.

In hot weather, when I was very very fat I used to feel like I was wearing a Mrs Doubtfire fat suit! Very uncomfortable. There's a scene in that movie when Robin Williams is trying to get dressed into his big fat suit for his Mrs Doubtfire disguise and he is really struggling. That's what it's like just trying to get dressed and moving around on a hot day when you've got extra fat weighing you down.

Returning to the topic of observing fat habits another thing that I've noticed is that Fat people so frequently use a big trolley at the supermarket and fill the whole thing. Have you heard of shopping for others? It's absolutely hilarious, to watch, I haven't done it personally but think its a fabulous idea. I could only find an American video of it, which isn't the best but do take a look. The reason why this came to mind is that someone mentioned to me that a new twisted version of shopping for others could be invented - a fat peoples' version. Instead of random items, unhealthy items in a Fat trolley could be replaced with healthy ones! I really do have to laugh out loud at the thought of people discovering a green lettuce or bag of fruit in amongst their junk shop. Recently I heard of one fatty who was riding round a supermarket on a mobility scooter filling the basket with flake deserts. Not just some flake deserts but an entire cardboard tray of them! So this isn't the best example but you'll get the idea: ENJOY 

youtube shopping for others

French Fancies:

As this is basically a Blog / Commentary of following Steve Miller's advice I would also like to mention a small triumph over some French Fancies. I find Steve's Facebook updates incredibly helpful, to the point where he is talking to me in my head some of the time. He had some great advice this week for times when you find yourself eating too much impulsively, suggesting that the need to become more conscious of your actions. I think most of the time the trick is me remembering this when I'm in the moment of reaching for something that's not going to be helpful to weight loss. So I was super chuffed when I actually remembered and used his 5 steps to not open the French Fancies.

The steps involve noticing what you're about to do and removing yourself from the situation. Having a conversation with yourself, telling yourself you're back in control and doing something different. The bit I like best is that after 10 minutes you congratulate yourself. 'Smile and affirm your success'. 

Do check out Steve's Facebook page: Steve Miller Mindset and Motivation. Or his website 

www.stevemillerhypnotherapy.co.uk

I find Steve's positive motivational techniques so helpful. Don't get me wrong I'm not putting him on a pedestal or anything. In fact when I met him I didn't really like him and did not get off to a good start. He reminded me of school teachers I'd had, making judgments about me because I'm quiet and don't ask constant questions, maybe I just didn't like what he said, I don't know. But, since then I've found him a positive source of support, be it through his posts on Facebook, his email support or just the fact that I know that he accepts no excuses, moans or negativity which in turn stops me from dwelling on those things.

So almost at the end of this episode. I've been working hard to add translators and hit counters to this Blog, you can even subscribe to my Blog by e-mail so you'll know when I next manage to post. Thank you so much for reading :)